Well, I am no longer a 29 year-old blogger. I am now a 30 year-old blogger. To be honest I don’t really consider myself a blogger at all, considering that I now update roughly every 10 years and take no notice whatsoever of the interesting cultural issues/ news worthy items / current affairs that real bloggers dedicate time to. We were talking the other day in the office about how you can understand a lot about a person from the way the use Facebook. I’m a big psycho-analyst of myself and others, and Facebook is my daily bread. If you think about it, you can group your friends into very distinct categories, and notice how their FB personality betrays who they really are – even though they may not know it.
Firstly, there are the people whose status updates are always something thought-provoking like “love is like gas – light, indestructible and always right in front of you, even if you can’t see it…”. YUCK! I tend to skim over these ones - it’s Facebook, guys - not the latest Coelho bestseller… Plus you can always SMELL gas and you can’t smell love so HA!!
Then there are those who constantly make comments about the latest big news items, politics, culture – all trying to out-do the next person for just how much intellect they can cram between a post and a poke….
Next come the needy updaters. “Sarah needs a hug” 13:01; “Sarah really needs a hug” 13:15; “Sarah really needs a hug right now or she might just cry” 13:21 etc. etc. Will someone please call up Sarah and ask her if she wants to get a coffee???? I haven’t spoken to her in 15 years and I live in Milan, so that’s me off the hook…
Then there are the self-promotion Facebookers. There are subtle ones and not so subtle ones – and I’m not sure which bother me the most. The subtle ones go something like this “Elizabeth is very tired from a long week of business meetings in New York, Paris and Rome”. Ah, poor poor Elizabeth – that must be terrible for you, dear. You have our deepest sympathies. Now go have a quick nap – you deserve it! This type of Facebook update – no matter how subtle - can really hit a nerve if you’re a bored housewife / new mum covered in baby sick / unemployed / have no life. The not-so-subtle ones (of which there are very many) are more like: “Katy is trying to decide whether to wear Gucci or Prada to the Business Woman of the Year Awards tonight. Gucci is more comfortable but Prada will look better when I go up to collect my award from the Duchess of Kent”. Now this is really annoying. More than anything because we all know that Katy is NOT trying to decide what to wear, but just couldn’t think of any other way to get the message across and so added that bit in at the beginning for good measure – desperate to overcome her insecurity by convincing other people that she’s worthy, even though she probably doesn’t really believe it about herself. We all know at least one person like this. I know about ten. Am I just unlucky or do I hang out with the wrong people?!
As for my FB personality… “Emma is wondering what to have for lunch today – a sandwich or a salad?”… “Emma is wondering whether it might rain later”….. “Emma is tired”…… Very boring, very predictable and the best way to avoid being psycho-analyzed by fellow facebookers!
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