Back to my (our) roots

They say that as you get older, you tend to search more and more for your roots and go back to what you know. Whilst it's true that, as a mum to a three year-old, my dancing-on-tables-in-dodgy-nightclub days appear to be all but over (never say never!), at 34 I don't yet consider myself totally past it. I do nonetheless find myself increasingly drawn to all things English, little reminders of my childhood, and I feel an increasing need to keep in touch and stay up to date with current affairs in the UK. Much more so than ever before in the 10 years that I have lived full-time in Italy. Perhaps it's because I'm aware that my child is growing up in a country which is very different from my country of origin, and as such her only (invisible) link with British culture and history is, well, me. Before Sophie was born, I was quite happy to immerse myself 100% in Italian life, watch the local news, eat classic Mediterranean dishes, and speak only Italian at all times. It felt like some sort of personal achievement - a lifelong goal to make my way in the world in a language and culture which I had learned from scratch and about which I knew nothing prior to my 16th birthday. Now that I have Sophie and have been here long enough for the place to no longer feel even slightly "foreign", it's like I am trying to go back on myself and regain some of that lost ground. Back in the day, being able to hold my own at the butchers or make a phone call to the gas company gave me a sense of satisfaction - a sort of "aren't I clever" reaction, which has now been replaced by the desire to ensure that Sophie knows the names of the things on our shopping list in both languages, and doesn’t forget that while things might be done a certain way in Italy, they are done a different way in the UK. I have become almost fanatical about her bilingualism, to the point where, despite having been born here and going to an Italian nursery every day, her English is now way ahead of her Italian (#smugmummy)… This summer didn’t involve the classic family holiday to foreign climes, as Luca had to keep the restaurant open and I needed to make up time at the office. As a result, Sophie spent most of August with her English grandparents, some time in the UK and some time at the beach here in Italy for the few days that we did all manage to get away together. She ate Cornish pasties on a chilly town quay surrounded by seagulls, had gelato at midnight in a balmy piazza, watched The Sound of Music approximately 10 times while the rain beat at the windows, and played happily on the beach, chatting incessantly with the other Italian children at the Mini Club. That’s the thing about having two cultures and two languages to call your own – it’s easy to fall into the classic “no man’s land” expat syndrome, where your home country feels increasingly “foreign” and your adoptive country will always see you to some extent as an outsider. What I truly hope for Sophie is that, having both Italian and English blood, being completely bilingual, and living as much of both cultures as possible, she will grow up safe in the knowledge that her roots are firmly planted in both places and that she can choose between pasties or pasta, fish and chips or gelato, rock pools or swaying palms – and none of it will feel even slightly “foreign”...

Life, Lavoro, Luca..... and Sophie

Is two and a half years too long? Can a person really FORGET they have a blog, stumble across it by mistake whilst searching the web, and spend an entire afternoon devouring accounts of their previous life history? The answer is yes, because this is what I have just done. Wow, I was whiney back then! So, what to say? Since I last updated this blog, Sophie has grown into a wonderful, funny, talkative (mamma mia she can ramble on!) three and a half year-old who is 100% bi-lingual and not afraid to show it! Luca has taken on a new business (a Baita close to Lake Como), which I, in turn am likely to ramble on about in future posts (so that's where Sophie gets it!), and we have moved house again. Maybe twice. I really can't remember.... I am still in the same job (slightly embarassing) but can't complain as I really enjoy the working atmosphere and have made some friends-for-life in what, to the outside world, can seem a fairly dog-eats-dog industry. As I write this from the office during the usual August slow-down, my parents are back at my apartment taking care of Sophie before we jet off tomorrow to spend 8 days at their house in England. Cornwall to be exact, which just happens to be one of my favourite places in the world, so it's All Good. We will miss Luca (the restaurant has to stay open all month) but will certainly enjoy a change of scenery. The view from my city outskirts office block during one of the worst summers on record is starting to look a little tired and I'm keen for Sophie to get some nice Atlantic air into her lungs! Despite having completely left my own blog in tatters, I have recently become a bit of a fan of a couple of UK-based mummy blogs (the sarcastic kind, not the "we like doing arts and crafts and baking" kind...), which might just provide me with inspiration to get back in the saddle. So, if there is anybody out there at all, maybe tune in again - and you might just find that I am enjoying life a lot more than in previous episodes. I may even manage to be whine-free, who knows??

Back in action

...so, I stumbled on my own poor, neglected blog whilst looking for something else and since by some miracle I even remembered my password... Well, here I am!

What to say? Where to start?

Maybe with the fact that Sophie will be a year old on the 18th of February and life is no longer even vaguely similar to what it was the last time I contributed to this blog! Nothing and nobody can really prepare you for the joy, fear, happiness and horror that is being a parent and you can't imagine the way in which your entire outlook on life changes overmight when a new little person comes into your life.
She is stupendous. Beautiful and intelligent and funny and curious and naughty and extremely hard work and all the other cliches. I am also typically exhausted (back at work almost full time - eek!) but I have to say it's Luca who has made the biggest change. He's completely obsessed. They say there's nothing like the relationship between a daddy and daughter and mamma mia are they spot on!

So here we are - back in the city and enjoying the challenges that life throws at us. I can't remember the last time I was even anywhere near my bed after 6:30am, the house is a complete mess and we both fall asleep on the sofa by 10 o'clock every night but I honestly wouldn't have it any other way. If I can manage it, I might even add "updating blog" to my looong list of post-work activities and not disappear into the milano smog like the last time!